Today's Gentleman

Guest post from Edmark Lowell delos Santos.

1. Always be selfless, considerate and loving of other people. Loving other people will surely manifest even in the littlest of things that you do for them, which will eventually accumulate to gain a foothold in their hearts. You will win them.
Show interest in other people. When appropriate, ask them questions about themselves.

2. Be truthful and sincere. Mean what you say. Do what you promised. Have integrity always, which is, doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

3. Always look your best before going out in public!! Dress well! Exercise! Eat healthily.

However, avoid all appearances of vanity. Fix yourself privately. Never pick your nose, shave your moustache, or comb your hair in public!

4. Never be sloppy or clumsy. Be very neat with your personal items, especially those items that are seen publicly, such as handkerchiefs, watches, bags, notebooks, cellphones and umbrellas.

5. Listen, empathize and as much as possible, acknowledge whatever the other person is telling you. Listen intently, and devote your whole attention to the speaker. (This stance of devoted focused listening is so captivating and charming by the way to most people).

Never interrupt others while they are talking. Never monopolize the conversation, but you can contribute to the discussion.
Never argue! Consider the other person’s points. Think that maybe, he has a point and that he could be right, for all you know.

6. Always behave and act according to the feel of the particular situation. For example, you should be solemn and retrospective in most parts of a funeral. You should be more loose and unrestrained in wild parties.
However, never overdo things! Never overreact. Never talk or laugh loudly, much more shout, unless the situation calls for it. Never do things where you will be oddly standing out. Dress modestly, for example, and not in an outlandish way or in an over-the-top fashion.

7. Speak in a deep, masculine, well-modulated voice. Avoid speaking too low, too high, too fast, too slow, too loud, or too soft.

8. Act manly. Act with masculine, confident gestures of a gentleman. Avoid childish gestures and actions.

9. Never gossip! Never say anything negative about anything or about people especially behind their backs!!
Curb your curiosity!! Mind your own business always! The gentleman does not see, hear or mind other people’s businesses.
Instead of backstabbing or gossiping, do the complete reverse! Say positive things, rather, which you sincerely observe, behind people’s backs, and it will work wonders for you.

10. Never complain! If you really need to address something that must be improved, do it privately, gently and at the right time! Never pick faults!
Instead of habitually complaining, do the reverse. Appreciate and thank people, and say positive things to them. However, say only those things you sincerely observe. Avoid overpraise and flattery!

When you compliment and appreciate people, be elaborate and detailed. Your compliment will surely be more powerful if said this way.

11. Smile often! It adds a lot of charm to you. But remember, smile sincerely and always appropriately. So do not smile when it is not fitting to do so, as in very serious moments. Guard your mental attitude in life, for whatever you are is shown in your face and in your movements.

When you smile, do it slowly and in a flooding sweeping way. Your smile will be more powerful if done this way. It is definitely very captivating in this manner.

The sparkle in your eyes and the glow in your countenance are your most beautiful ornaments.
Never be cross! If you are in bad humor, never show any evidence of it. Smile although there is a thorn in your heart. For no lady will tolerate or will appreciate the crabby or cranky man in her company.

12. Always have self-control. A gentleman controls his feelings. So never be drunk. Never push others in a line, say, to the fastfood counter, or to the cinema. Do not jostle. Never show impatience, say, in waiting for the food to be served to you.

13. Always be slow to take offense. Never be sensitive. If you are really offended by an act, approach the person at the right time and in a proper manner.

14. Never be fussy or picky, say, with food. When you are asked, do not answer the questions with fuss but answer them with straightforwardness.

15. Never use slang, textspeak, gay lingo, jejemon, high-sounding words, provincialisms, and words and phrases the whole group or crowd cannot relate to, unless appropriate to do so. Never use unrelatable generalities, riddles and puzzling statements.

16. Avoid topics that all or at least the majority in the group will find unrelatable. Only choose those topics the majority can relate to.
Never change topics abruptly. Change the topic skillfully, with a smooth transition, if the group is bored with the present topic.

17. In light situations and conversations, be entertaining and cheerful, for this is the appropriate thing to be in such situations.
However, never use ridicule in your humor, as well as racist, green, toilet, political, religious, disability, ethnic, practical, corny and clearly childish jokes.
As much as possible, your jokes should be witty.

18. Be very selective of what to disclose about yourself, and to whom you will disclose it too. You should only disclose sensitive or negative information about you to the very few people you trust. The wrong people could backstab you or use those pieces of information against you.

19. Never praise yourself in front of others. Never talk too much about yourself as this is narcissistic conversation. Always be modest.
Do not be self-absorbed. Do not hog the spotlight. Never appear as someone who wants the limelight, as someone who tries hard to impress others.
Say, if you are a great dancer, do not monopolize the dance floor, showing off all your crazy moves. If you are a great singer, do not be the one who sings the most number of songs in the videoke party to the detriment of others. Or if you are gifted with humor, do not monopolize the chat by being the one who quips all the funny jokes. Give chance to others.
And never walk with an overbearing gait.

20. Whenever you encounter someone you know in the hallway, or on the street, etc., you must greet him or her! Never ignore or snob.
For mere acquaintances, you could give a smile. For acquaintances you run to several times in a day, you could give them a smile to acknowledge them the first time. And then, you could give them an eyebrow raise, a controlled wave of the hand, or any other appropriate gesture when you meet them again on the same day.
Remember, greeting people should never be overdone. It could translate to overacknowledgment of a person who is just your mere acquaintance. It could also be interpreted as being a politician or trying hard to be popular.
Do not shake hands of ladies, for this comes across as too stiff and formal nowadays, unless you really have to be formal.
As for men, always be firm and confident in your grasp when you shake their hands.

21. Never block passageways, aisles, halls, elevators, etc., while you are talking with your friends, texting, or doing some random activity. On the other hand, if people are ing your way, you must say “excuse me”, and then say, “thank you” after you are allowed passage.

22. Never be late in any meeting, practice or activity!

23. Never borrow money or expect special favors from anybody. Never ask anything from anybody!! This is always bad form. Even if you are a guest, you are not to expect too much attention. Never take advantage of other people’s generosity. Rely on yourself.

24. But whenever somebody offers you anything, say food, refreshments or entertainment, take it with a thankful attitude. It’s the thought that counts. Never refuse what is offered to you, for this is part of being a gracious guest or recipient. Always thank the host or giver!
At the same time, be generous in your food or possessions, with wisdom and prudence, with others.

25. Always answer “you’re welcome” when you are thanked.

26. Never blow your nose or spit in front of other people. If you must blow your nose, turn your back away from the group, and say excuse me. Then don’t forget to thank the people around for excusing you.

27. Work hard at whatever you are doing and at your current profession. Do your best to excel in it. But even if other people’s performance turns out better than yours, it does not matter for as long as you gave it your all. People will respect you more if you give your best in whatever task you’re doing. Persevere and do not weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.

28. Submit to the authorities instituted above you. Be a great follower, whether in the office, in school, in the traffic regulations, in your organizations, in your church, etc.

29. Give highest respect and treatment to the elderly, the underprivileged, the outcast and the disabled.

30. Of course, you must observe all the usual acts of a gentleman, as appropriate. Never overdo these acts, however, as you might come across as trying too hard to impress.
The usual acts include:
– Offering to carry your female companion’s items or bag
– Holding the item if the lady needs help, taking off her coat if she needs help, or giving your own coat if she’s cold.
– Being concerned with people who seem sick or ill
– Reaching out a glass of water or other items for others
– Standing aside to let other people go before you, except that you go ahead of people to the doors of a room, hall or vehicle to open them for others.
– Accompanying or giving the lady companion a ride home, especially at night or at dangerous hours